Bros Guide to Getting a Bro-job from a Slampiece

Posted on November 12, 2010 

Brojob
better than no job by antwerpenR

Bros Guide to Getting a Bro-job from a Slampiece

Guys, you can back me up on this. Everybody loves a good beej occasionally… or more like every minute of every day. Of course, some of us don’t have enough Q factor to have a slampiece at our beckon call who’s BJ-ready. The fact is that most of us spend our precious time negging girls hardcore and working our Q, but they can’t even appreciate the our hard work by opening up and saying ah.

If the stars and the planets align and you find that, after hours of begging and pleading — even though you know they want it — you have a willing slampiece, then there are some rules you should abide to make sure this movie opens on multiple nights.

Be smart here and don’t ruin it for her. You’re already smarter than most bros because you’re reading this article. Good bros know that you gotta work out your mind just as much as you work your quads.

Here are a few things you shouldn’t do to not spoil it for a honey.

One: Know where to finish

No matter how many times you’ve watched There’s Something about Mary and think it’d be hilarious to give her a little bit of super-hold mousse, don’t ruin her hair. She probably paid like way too much money at the salon for that. She’ll be like super pissed cause you wasted her money. You’re not Ben Stiller dude.

Two: Don’t Switch-Up the Style!

Yeah, we’ve all got our signature move (the ladies need that personal touch), but I’ve seen way too many bros cash their check in when they start grabbing her head and thrusting it downward with the ferocity of Rainman trying to finish up before Wapner. Yeah, Rain Man was a pretty tight movie.

Three: Never Lose your Focus!

Yeah, so it’s totally pimp to watch TV or check your Facebook while your girl’s doing the do down below. Have you ever seen Swordfish, bro? Some guy got a beej while hacking into the government or something. That movie was tighter than a mother-eff.

Stay cool though. If you’re gonna be on the internet, this isn’t the time to be planting crops on your Farmville account. If you’re expecting it to happen again, you have to let her know you care. While she’s down there, you could post a <3 on her Facebook wall or something. Be creative. Four: Don’t be an Ingrate!

Guys, say thank you. Buy her a steak or something afterwards. Real men don’t pay, but even if you are paying for the job, be a gracious employer. If you make her feel like you didn’t appreciate all the hard work that she did working your hard, she might wanna file for worker’s comp or something.

That’s pretty much it. Follow those four steps and you should be good to go with getting daily do. Now find a slampiece of your own and start practicing.

Comments

2 Responses to “Bros Guide to Getting a Bro-job from a Slampiece”

  1. SW on January 25th, 2013 1:04 pm

    This article reminds me of the Steve Martin joke…

    How to be a Millionaire:

    Step 1: Get a million dollars…

  2. SW on January 25th, 2013 1:06 pm

    …Oh and the title “Bro-Job” sounds like you’re a bi-curious guy trying to get a straight dude to blow you. As in “Hey bro, I’m not gay but we’ve been in this elevator a long time… “

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